Shake the Poet || Milo

[alexander jay garcía torres]

He really shouldn't be here.
Slipping away from the Enforcers that wandered about the compound hadn't been much of a challenge, nor had sneaking down the stairs to the windowless cells where they locked up criminals waiting for trial. 'Bad idea' resounded over and over in Alex's head, nicely loud and clear, but the fae chose to ignore his conscience and descended the stairs silently.

The jail wasn't exactly off-limits for the trainees; all that Alex'd gotten was a passing 'it's not advisable to go down there' which translated to 'sure, it's okay' to the young faerie. But today was different. It was the first time he ventured to the cells and not without reason so... being caught tiptoeing about wouldn't really be good for him. Definitely not, considering that he was planning to sneak a peek of a certain vampire that'd gone on a gorey killing spree the week prior. Echo, the Siren counsellor, had told him it'd be for the best if Alex stayed away from Milo's case but... that didn't mean that he couldn't pay him a little visit, right?

In spite of being told just yesterday the news, Alex wasn't sure what he felt. Hurt was one of them though; it was strong and sat heavy as lead in his chest. But there was a current battle going on between whether he felt angry and a bit betrayed or not. There was a little disappointment thrown in the mix too. In short, his feelings were in a bit of a jumble, like they'd been liquidified in a blender and he was steadily sifting through them. He didn't understand. It probably didn't help that Zephyr was confusing him further. Alex always had a small inkling that the guy had a thing for him but he'd always kind of just pushed it aside up until last night. The fire fae had wanted a kiss and, well, Alex had just gone along with it, even when it turned into something more heated and dirty. Now the only thing that was bothering him was Ze getting his hopes up for something Alex wasn't ready for. He'd just needed last night to take his mind off things and it'd worked for a good while. But now he was back to square one all over again; back to not understanding the rude vampire he was a bit torn up over.

Milo had been his friend, that was the only thing that Alex couldn't shake out of his head. At least, he thought they'd been friends. They'd been close enough to share a few smiles, the odd laugh, cigarettes and playful pushes but not what'd been going on in Milo's head. Alex remembered Echo saying how the young vampire'd gone after people that'd hurt him in the past - even his parents - and Alex hadn't had a clue that he'd been planning it all, every single one of those thirteen murders. Thirteen. That number alone made Alex feel queasy. He didn't understand how anyone would be capable of just over a dozen killings. Even Milo, that stupid vampire who seemed a bit rough around the edges but whose bark always seemed worse that his bite. That shameless cigarette-bumming vampire that'd he'd - at some point - ended up getting a soft spot for.

And now he was going to die at the hands of the Council unless something near miraculous happened. Thirteen meticulously planned murders executed in cold blood was... unthinkable. It left a lot for the Council to cover up. From what Alex understood, vampires were allowed to feed from humans as long as they were tidy about it, not dramatically, violently and - in terms of feeding - needlessly as Milo had done. Saying he was in deep shit wouldn't even brush the tip of the iceberg.

Alex wasn't yet dressed for training, he'd left his fabric backpack upstairs in his locker that carried his sweatpants and t-shirt, and still wore his typical attire of a thin short-sleeved shirt, a dark vest and a pair of trousers that would probably challenge his fertility in a few years time. If jeans weren't tight and figure-hugging they weren't doing their job correctly. His hair was a bit more mussed than usual, being it so that Ze had kind of gotten his fingers in his hair and had knotted and tangled it beyond repair with a simple brush; it needed a good condition and a patient attack with a comb.

On reaching that long hallway that gave off to all the small, windowless cells, Alex felt an unusual sensation grip his chest. For a second he suspected it'd just been his nerves tightening around his lungs but this was different; it was an uncomfortable feeling, as if his chest was being slightly compressed. It took a couple or seconds to realize with a mental 'duh' that it was the strong, magical enchantment placed down here that negated his powers. It made him feel more wary and unsafe but he pressed on anyway down the corridor. The magical jail wasn't what Alex'd had expected; he'd expected something resembling a dank and dark dungeon with shackles lining the walls and groans of prisoners in the air. But, no. It was a touch on the badly lit side but it was pleasant enough to know that you wouldn't catch pneumonia should you stay here a night.

Thankfully, most of the cells were empty as the muddy-haired faerie crept past. He didn't need any of the petty criminals recognizing him as a law enforcer trainee and spitting some ugly slurs at him. He moved cell by cell, peeping momentarily between the bars of each, looking for Milo. He wasn't in the first few he checked. Just some tatty-looking guy that faintly smelt of cheap booze and body odour staring into space and then another man sat hunched and shivering in the corner. Alex wrinkled his nose and gave that cell a bit of a wide berth, supposing it was a vampire coming down from a strong blood high, and hastily snuck deeper into the prison for supernaturals, guessing that Milo - being probably a more important and 'dangerous' criminal - would have probably been thrown in towards the back.

words: 1042 oops
outfit

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[Milo Dakota Lark]

Being imprisoned at the compound was...well, it was a lot different than Milo's past experiences with incarceration. First of all, there was no beefy roommate that might kill him if he didn't know the right gang signs. In that way, it was better. In just about every other way, it was worse. No window, no time out of his cell, no tv, nothing to break the monotony of staring at the wall other than his own thoughts. Oh, and there was that whole 'impending execution' thing. But whatever.

The cell was nothing more that a 5x8 block of stone reinforced with so much magic it sort of made him nauseous. There was a bare metal toilet and stone sink in the back. His bed was little more than a cot. Thankfully, a few years of homelessness made that bearable enough. He couldn't imagine how rough this place would be for some of the other kids at the school, ones he'd heard complaining about the mattresses in the dorms. He'd heard that sorcerers usually charmed them to be softer. They hadn't had to feed him yet, what with him coming off of a seven day binge, but he had a sneaking suspicion that it would be chicken blood. He'd go hungry before he used that to chase the taste of his mother's blood out of his mouth. She had been delicious.

On the bright side, it sounded like his case had garnered enough attention that he'd get an early trial date, so if all went according to plan, he'd be out of here and in the crematorium by the end of the month. Good riddance.

Milo was doing push-ups that day, mostly to keep himself sane. It's what everyone had told him to do his first stint in solitary, and it was good advice. Sit still and let your mind churn for too long and you started to lose it. His shirt,a plain white smock they'd given him, was tossed idly across his bed, leaving him with just his boxers hanging out of white cotton pants that were a bit too large for his slim, bony hips. He supposed the enforcers weren't used to detaining people as young as himself.

He was on his fortieth or so push-up when he heard footsteps echoing down the hallway, accompanied by a jittery heartbeat. Milo stopped what he was doing and pushed himself to his feet. He mopped the sweat from his face quickly with his shirt, then put his face by the bars to see.

Milo was surprised, to say the least. He'd worried about what Alex would think a bit too much for his liking. The snobby little fae generally took up more than his fair share of Milo's thoughts - but Milo totally did not have a crush. Besides, none of that mattered now anyway. Still, he thought back to that time he'd drunk too much and asked Alex, Will you miss me? which was such a lame question to ask, but hadn't Alex said yes?

If that was the truth...well, then Milo felt a bit bad for doing this to him. It probably wasn't true, he assured himself.

He lifted a hand and waved meekly from behind they bars. "Heyyy, Alex. Fancy seeing you here."

[alexander jay garcía torres]

Up ahead, Alex spotted some milky white fingers curl around the metal bars of a cell and then his amber eyes met the darker, chocolate ones of a vampire he thought he had once been starting to get to know. Alex's stomach felt as though it'd plummetted right out of his body and he froze in his tracks. It was the first time he'd seen Milo after little more than a week. And the last time he'd seen him the vampire had seemed as those he'd had thirteen cans of beer rather than murders under his belt...

And there he was with a timid greeting that made Alex's hands ball into tight fists. So sickening. It was as if, y'know, he hadn't just gone on a slaughtering spree. "Fuckin' coincidences o'life, innit?" He said stiffly, no amusement at all in his scratchy voice. Alex took a hesitant step closer to Milo's cell and took a moment to look at him in his near-empty cell. He looked the same as he'd done a weekish ago except now he was in too-big prison garb which hung from his hips and made him seem even smaller than he was. He just looked like Milo. Not like a 'psychopath' or a murderer.

After looking him over, Alex could feel his toffee eyes stinging and his face warming up. All day the waterworks had been threatening to make an appearance after Ze had cracked him one right in the nose. But he was still angry. Alex could feel how it burned and ached like hot liquid in his chest. Had Milo ever thought for a single moment how Alex would feel? If it'd hurt him? Probably not... they weren't even meant to be close friends.

Yeah, maybe Ze was right. Maybe this was a bad idea. There was a niggling voice inside him telling him just to turn right around and get out of there but Alex stayed rooted on the spot. He was roughly two feet away from the vampire's concrete and metal box, Milo was just within arm's reach if he wanted to stretch out for him. Alex didn't move though, he stayed put with his fists at his sides.

"S'good you're behind these kinda bars." The faerie hissed before he could catch himself. "Or I'd kill you m'self. Y'fuckin' idiot." Okay, he wouldn't kill him. But he definitely wanted to hurt the vampire.

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[Milo Dakota Lark]

So Alex may have been a bit upset, he gathered. What with the scowling and the swearing and the death threats. And, yes, he did feel sort of guilty about pulling this on his friend out of nowhere and upsetting him. It was probably the only thing about this whole ordeal that he did feel guilty about, though. Even knowing that Alex would be mad, he would have done it anyway. It was just something he had to do, and Milo knew that with every fiber of his being.

Sighing and rubbing at the back of his neck, the vampire averted his eyes from his friend's face, staring at his feet instead. He tried to play it casual, but he was obviously a little sheepish in the face of Alex's anger. "Well, lucky for you the Council's probably gonna do the job for you soon enough," he tried to joke. It came out too bitter and sullen to be humorous, though. Milo rolled his shoulders and they cracked, releasing the tension from his work-out.

Milo glanced behind himself to his cot, then backed up and sat on the edge of it. He supposed they would either have a long discussion about this or Alex would storm off in a huff, and Milo would just want to curl up on his bunk anyway. His eyes chanced a look up to the fae's face. It wasn't a happy face. His stomach gave a funny sort of twist. "I had to do it, man. The stuff they did...you don't...I planned it a long time, okay? Since before I met you. I had to."

[alexander jay garcía torres]

Was that meant to be some sort of joke? Because it wasn't funny in the slightest. In fact, it actually stung. Jokes were meant to be funny, not hurtful and miserable. Milo's failed stab at some humour hung like some unpleasant and unneeded reminder that the Council was likely to execute him shortly. Could be a few days, a few weeks or a few months. Alex wasn't certain how the system worked around here but he was begrudgingly betting the Council was edging for the first since the vampire's case had snowballed into quite a mediatic one.

Since Milo had edged away from the bars, Alex moved forward and lifted a hand up to the bars. The metal pole was cold and unfriendly under his fingers and it was as if he could faintly feel the protective magic buzzing inside them. He was still looking at Milo though. He couldn't seem to get himself to look away. The faerie hated it but... the vampire did actually look a bit better than he had done in previous weeks. Probably from the sheer amount of blood he'd binged on or how he'd shed an inexplicably large burden from his shoulders. The usually loud faerie sighed and kept his doleful caramel eyes fixed on his encarcerated friend.

Alex didn't want to hear how Milo had been planning this even before they'd met. He didn't want to get the feeling of how they'd never really had a chance then. "Then I-I wish..." His grip tightened on the bars until his skin paled. Alex had a couple of ways which he'd like to finish that sentence and most of them selfish. Like how he wished they'd never became friends then if he knew from the start how it could've ended. Then maybe Alex wouldn't like him like now and he'd be like all the other teens reading the news; mildly horrified yet morbidly entertained at how that prozzy from the Gateway was actually a closet psycho. Not on the other side of some cell and unsure of what to say.

"I just don't want you to die." He admitted quietly yet truthfully. Then Alex finally looked away, unable to face the younger teenager anymore and clearing his throat with a sharp cough, forcing down the lump rising in his throat.

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[Milo Dakota Lark]

Milo wanted to know the rest of that sentence. I wish...what? That Milo had warned him? That Milo had just offed himself once he was done? But his questions were cut off by words that stung more acutely. Never in his life had he expected to hear someone say that about him. Why? Why did Alex care?

His eyes burned, and the sensation caught the boy by surprise. Alex had been an idiot, then, because Milo had been a dead man for a long time. He chewed on his lower lip and tried too think of how he should explain himself.

When his voice finally did come, it was strange and hoarse with emotion. "It's okay, Alex," he said. "I'm ready. I've been ready. See, um, before I was turned...I was dying. Sick. I had a couple years, maybe. And that was okay with me, you know? I never meant to live too long. I definitely didn't plan on living forever."

Actually explaining all of this out loud was making him realize things he'd known but not let himself think. Like the fact that maybe it wasn't just about revenge. Sure, the revenge was a big part of it, the control, too. But he'd also been self-destructing, terrified at the prospect of having a future.

"For me, this whole supernatural vampire thing was all just...Just a weird opportunity to get some justice before I went."

[alexander jay garcía torres]

Why wasn't Milo saying anything Alex wanted to hear but the total opposite? It wasn't making this any easier for him. He didn't want to know that he'd been dieing before he'd been given an immortal lifespan and he definitely did not need to hear how he was fine with the thought of dieing. He didn't know a great deal of Milo's previous life but the little he knew and guessed was already too much. What the vampire had had before wasn't a life, just a cruel mockery of one, and Alex couldn't get his small, comforted mind around how Milo had practically just wasted his chance of something new on chasing something old.

"It's not okay! Joder!" Alex snapped a bit louder than needed and the heel of his hand slammed against a metal bar, his voice giving an uneasy wobble as he cursed in his mother tongue. The bar vibrated and hummed a hollow note and Alex hastily turned his back, pinching the bridge of his nose. He didn't want to be angry like he didn't want to be upset yet he'd waltzed into here not even knowing what'd he'd wanted in the first place. Alex leaned back against the bars, muting the tinny thrum with his back while he battled with the lump that, again, climbed its way up his throat.

"Just some weird opportunity t'get some justice, eh?" The faerie repeated him with a thicker voice. "Qué cabrón. Was that what all of this was f'you? Just a chance f'revenge?" He wanted to call Milo an idiot, tell him that he was selfish and say he'd just lived in vain. But then who was Alex to say anything? He had one individual in mind that he'd drop everything for just to get a taste of revenge on.

The teenage sighed miserably, his bottom lip giving a dangerous quiver. "Did anyfin' else matter t'you? Didn't y'think that y'could, I-I don't know, matter t'somebody?" Goddess, he was on his way to making a teary mess out of this. Alex was never good with getting his feelings out, he tended to bottle them either until they escaped of their own accord or until he had no choice but to swallow them down. The air fae ran his fingers through his glossy brown flicks of hair and sighed again to steel himself. "What I mean t'say is... I-I, uh..." This part never seemed to get any easier and what little confidence Alex barely had he could feel rapidly fading away. He was expecting Milo to just shoot him down anyway. But maybe he preferred that to never having this chance. "Me gustas, vale? So that's why... ugh. I don't even know why. Y'rude, gross and an annoyin' lil' fuck." And yet he still liked him, even now when one was stuck in a jail cell and he was doubting any such feeling was reciprocated. Milo was making it pretty clear that he'd only been hanging around this long for one thing, and it hadn't been to intentionally toy around with faeries.

words: 500+

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[Milo Dakota Lark]

A shiver ran down the young vampire's spine, though from the cool, stuffy air of the prison nor the cold metal of the bedframe beneath his legs. No, the cold he felt was internal. It ran through his veins. His jaw dropped, maybe in sympathy for his stomach, which had all-out plummeted upon hearing Alex's admission. He...what? He liked Milo? And then that ice-cold blood was rushing in his ears so he could scarcely hear anything else. He felt cheated. Angry. Frustrated. Betrayed by the whole goddamn universe. And he felt a little sad, too, which was not how he'd imagined feeling if Alex were ever to say something like that to him.

Not that he'd imagined it. Not that he'd watched as Alex laughed and hung out with some of his million friends and imagined what it would be like if he fit in there somewhere. Not that he'd spent hours thinking about that day he kissed Alex and then just lie there underneath the other boy and felt safer than he had in a long, long time. Not that he'd let himself hope.

Tears pricked at his eyes now, tears of confusion and fury. He grabbed the closest thing on hand - his wadded up shirt - and chucked it at the bars where Alex stood. His voice sounded louder than he'd meant it to be as he demanded, "Why didn't you tell me!" Milo stood and stalked back to the door so he could slam his hands against the bars. It was hard enough to hurt his hands, to earn him a little warning shock from the protective spells. Milo wrapped both hands around the bars and rested his face between them. A tear nearly fell, but he shut his eyes just in time.

"Why didn't you tell me before?" he pleaded more quietly. "You fucking bastard, I would have..." But Milo didn't know what he 'would have' because his thoughts were tied up in even more knots than his stomach. Would he have stayed? Would he have given up everything he had planned if it meant getting to be with Alex? Honestly, he wasn't sure. But he might have. Might have thought twice, at least. And he was starting to realize, too, that this had maybe been less about his past than it was about his own inability, his own reluctance to move on.

He thought all of this before he reminded himself that he wasn't supposed to be in love with Alex. Not with anyone. Love was for suckers, and...God, he damn sure was one now. Because here he was crying over this missed opportunity, thinking maybe he would have given up his revenge if it meant he got to be with this ridiculous, sheltered, amazing asshole.

"Alex," he heard himself whimper. "God damn it, Alex. you should have told me." His chest sagged in a defeated sort of sigh. Fuck this.

[alexander jay garcía torres]

Where was all this suddenly coming from? Milo's louder, more stern, bark made the faerie visibly flinch and take a step back from the bars sealing his poxy and bare cell. His toffee eyes widened at the sudden explosion he'd enticed out of his usually ratty but calm friend. He hadn't expected such a reaction. A teasing laugh or maybe even a sneer perhaps but, y'know, not for Milo to actually appear like he cared, like his words had meant something. As if it'd actually hurt him.

Alex stood and watched as the angry flare in Milo fizzled away with the same abruptness as he rested against the metal bars. He swallowed quietly and glanced to the right and then to the left, steadily pulling out an explanation with his bird brain. This was why he didn't do, y'know, this. Because, right now, the faerie was at a loss for words for once. What did he do now? What did he even say?

"I-I, uh... um..." Alex tried, glancing everywhere except for the deflated vampire slumped in front of him. There was an uncomfortable twisting in his chest and his face was warming up, his eyes especially. He hadn't counted on this at all. "Actually, I, um... I never planned on tellin' you."

It wouldn't have been the first time Alex kept his lip sealed on a matter of the heart. And seeing his stretched life expectancy, it definitely wouldn't be the last. "I-I mean I just figured I'd, y'know... grow out of it maybe?" He sucked in a large breath and pulled his shoulders back slightly, picking his courage up off the floor. He took a step forwards and gestured at Milo with his hand. "Why would I have told you? Like... look at you. You're..." No. Alex wasn't going to go down that road. Milo was a lot of things but, really, none of that mattered if Alex still liked him. Dragging his name through the dirt right now wouldn't make himself feel better any.

Alex closed his eyes and sighed again, muttering out a small, "Sorry..." as he ran his skeleton fingers through his mop of brown curls. "I'm sorry.

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[Milo Dakota Lark]

Milo would have preferred Alex just punch him in the eye. Because those words? Those stung like a bitch. Of course. It didn't matter if Alex had feelings for Milo. They were from two different worlds and this wasn't some Romeo and Juliet bullshit. This was the real world where life sucked and then it sucked more and then you died. It didn't matter what Alex might say to try to make up for his harsh words. They'd been said.

Milo actually did look down at himself, at the scars that adorned his skin like they'd always belonged there, at the crude tattoo on his hip, at the adolescent body he would never grow out of. Alex was sorry?

"No," Milo said. "You're not." His voice held a dark sort of resolution, eyes closed as he sagged against the bars. "I fucked everything up, but...but even if I never went, you would never want me, Alex. You don't like me, okay? I don't know why you think you do, but you can't think about a person like you think about me and still say that. That's not how it works."

The whole thing confused him so much. Alex clearly didn't want to sleep with Milo, and he was pretty much disgusted with everything he was. What else was there?

Glancing up at the other boy, Milo just shook his head. "You could never like me. Not like that. Look at you, for god's sake. How much did those shoes cost? A hundred? More? And you're smart and you're gonna be an enforcer and save the world from people like me. You have a family. You have friends. Alex, you have everything. Why would you want me?"