Relapse [solo]

[aine luna bird]

One year. It had been one year since I had last... Well, since I had bulimia. One year that had been filled with pain and trying to control hunger. One year of trying to start my life over. All thrown away in one moment of stupid ardor. I ate just a bit too much. Okay, more than a bit, I ate way too much. I don't know what happened. I was just in the kitchen eating something small then that lead to something else. Then I went up to my room and realized that I had some food that was about to expire. I didn't want it to go to waste. So, I ate it. I ate all of it. When, I finally realized what I had done, it was too late. I was running for the bathroom. The contents of my stomach were emptied into the nearest toilet. I forgot how awful yet totally wonderful it made me feel. The taste, that was what I hated most about throwing up. I stood up slowly because I knew if I stood up too quickly I would make myself dizzy and I would be right back on the floor. But, before I could get all the way back up, I found myself back on my knees bending over the toilet giving it the what was left in my stomach which was nothing. I wretched over and over. Nothing came out. It was beginning to feel just awful. There was no enjoyability left, just pain. I fell over in a heap and passed out. I'm not sure who found me, but the next thing I knew I woke up in a hospital room. I lost a lot of fluids and they were trying to pump fluids back into me. I felt even worse than I had felt last night. My head pounded. I hurt all over. I tried to lift my arm to rub my head but I had no control over any parts of my body. I looked over to my left and saw my mom sleeping, her face was stained with tears. My own eyes were welling up. I could feel the tears falling. I hadn't cried in a long time. It had been around the time I stopped. I closed my eyes again and lights out.

Outfit *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Clicky
Notes *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* I'm so mean...
Tagged *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* No one
Song *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Not Alone – Darren Criss

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