|
|
Post by natesa elise mayjor on Jun 18, 2013 8:20:21 GMT
  Normally, Natesa had a huge problem with adverse weather conditions. She didn't like the cold. The wind whipped her hair up in weird shapes and often knotted it together. The rain made the dark makeup around her eyes run. However, today, she didn't give a crap about vanity, about how she looked. No, now was a time for serious thinking, as much as she hated having to have serious thinking sessions. They were all ominous, were all frightening, and that was something that the hybrid was not mentally prepared for. Not yet. She wasn't really in the mood to scare herself out of her mind, although she knew it had to happen some day. So why not today? No time like the present and all that.
She seriously needed to rethink what was going on in her life, because she wasn't even sure anymore. She hated it. She missed having complete control over every aspect of her life, even if it was something she'd only had for a short while. She'd had it right up until her third month at the academy, her third month actually associating with others. This is why she never talked willingly. It was because it threw her life completely out of whack every time, without fail. She'd been comfortable having nothing going on, being something almost resembling normal. Now? Now what was she? She was a blue haired, crossbred freak with a love life about as straightforward as the M25. Go figure.
And, honestly, that wasn't the only thing she was worrying herself about. Even though it'd been a while ago, Lance's words still swirled around her brain, making her feel sick every time they came to memory. Was she really living a lie? Had he just said it to get at her? Or were both of the above true? She didn't know anymore. She didn't know if killing someone by accident five years ago really constituted as something you needed to tell people in order for them to really know you. But then, Lancelot had been right. No one would really, really know her until that came out, because it was such a big part of her life. It'd essentially made her who she was now. How could people know her if they didn't know why she was the way she was?
The roof was surprisingly quiet after school hours. But then, the dark clouds in the sky must have meant that everyone was staying indoors. The only reason Natesa was really outside was that she needed to think, and here was the perfect place to do that. No one around to bother her. No one to ask her what was wrong, if it came to that. No one to have to converse with. She was completely alone. Even if, secretly, she didn't like being alone, she knew it was for the better. She was used to it, at the very least. And now, sat opposite the door to the roof with her eyes closed, she knew that it was definitely for the better to think and not talk. Because, come on. Who would even want to know what was on her mind?
 Outfit: Clicky!Tagged: Kit! Notes: *gross hysterical sobbing*Lyrics: Fences by Paramore
|
|
