Rise and Fall [OPEN]

[caleb andrew winston]

You know that you're in pretty deep shit when you find the things that you used to hate so much of a comfort. When you actually stop caring, really, about what you love and what you hate, seeing as the lines between the two seem to blur. For example, there are things in this world that you never, ever think could comfort you. You never think that darkness could be a comfort, until you see something that you really don't want to see. You don't think that a person could comfort you until the time actually comes for them to do so. And so on and so forth.

Well, one of the things that I hate most in this world is silence. I just... I hate it! It's awkward, and painful, and just plain boring, if you ask me. In some circumstances, it was even suffocating. Here, though., it felt so strangely secure. It didn't seem like it could be so easily shattered by something as simple as a noise. It seemed like a wonderful comfort. And the fact that I wasn't alone made it that much better. It wasn't an awkward silence, it was comfortable, as I curled into Jason's side and just let myself... float. Not happily, but most definitely enough to let me try an forget what was going on. As hard as that actually was.

Coming back to what I said earlier about climbing up a flight of stairs in the dark. Half of the time, there's nothing there to support you, to stop you from stumbling. A stumble can quickly turn into a tumble, and a tumble send you to the ground. More often than not with some kind of horrible injury, like a carpet burn or a bruise from the impact. Something that isn't really that bad, but feels like it could end your life in that moment. However, if you're lucky, there's something there to help you. Something for you to hold on to that stops you from falling. Something that just about keeps you on your feet, although it doesn't stop you from tripping.

It was just like that now, really. Kind of. Some God somewhere had decided that I was climbing though my life too quickly, too happily, too confidently (although I have no idea how or why). I needed to be put in my place, and removing a stair (or in this case, hurting someone I loved and therefore indirectly hurting me) was the perfect way to do so. It'd sent me reeling, tripping, falling. I didn't know what I was going to do, what was going to happen, and that kind of uncertainty killed me. Something that I normally found fun was now something that I was dreading. For once, knowing what would come around the corner next would be really nice.

But before I could fall, I'd hand a hand to grab onto, apparently as tightly or as not as I wanted to, which I did after smiling up at him briefly. Something to keep me stable. And that had come in the form of my best friend, which was amazing. It was a if he knew, he knew that I needed his help. That I needed someone with me, anyone with me. Maybe he'd been tricking me all this time. Maybe he was really a soul faerie, and we had some kind of telepathic connection. Even though the small ball of light hovering above us disproved that theory, the thought did briefly cross my mind. Which is stupid, considering the fact that I have the enhanced senses and crap, but it's true.

When he said about me not owing him anything, I didn't quite know how to respond. I hadn't really had many friends - I'd been a bit too sucked up in my own life for that. Too busy helping mum, watching out for my brother (even though that'd failed) dramatically. And, besides, every friend that I had, I'd lost when I got turned and moved here. Because, come on. I wasn't going to fool myself by saying that someone would want to be friends with someone different, a freak. Well, unless they were a freak themselves. It may sound harsh, but until I adjusted to the supernatural world, I used to think of the people in it that way. Freaks. Not in a bad way, like I was, but freaks all the same.

I didn't really want to argue with the Borea anymore, though. I wasn't in the mood to argue. Right now, I just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. Cry. Do something that would make me feel better. Because, honestly? This was the shittiest I'd felt in a while. So, I smiled faintly at him, and gave a nod, just to let him know that the last part was true. He was helping, he really was. I had someone here for me now, someone that I could confide in. And that was more than I'd ever had before. "If you say so," I murmured, resting my head on his shoulder for want of something better to do.

I was starting to feel the chill in the air now. It was ridiculous, because it was June. It was my frickin' birthday next week. Which I probably wouldn't be celebrating anyway, but still! It shouldn't have been cold, even if it was approaching the night hours. The wind was picking up a little, not enough to freeze a person to death, but most certainly enough to make its presence known. I tried to hold in a shiver as I huddled into the boy next to me just that little bit more. I wasn't sapping off of his warmth... I was just sharing it, okay? We were sharing warms. And comfies. And just everything.

And then I realised. Jason didn't seem to have a jacket on him. What if he was cold or something? As if I didn't feel bad enough for keeping him here already. He did't need to be here, and yet he was. And if he was uncomfortable, then why were we still here? Why didn't we just go back? Maybe because this was comfortable, was secluded, was just us two. But still. I looked up at him, concern in my eyes, as I whispered "Jesus Christ, aren't you cold?" I liked it out here, personally, but I'd go back to the Academy if he wasn't comfortable.

Outfit: Clicky!
Tagged: Anyone!
Notes: more like asdfghjklJace;_;
Lyrics: The Reckless and The Brave by All Time Low