Healing is a Slow Process [Open]

[pandora evelyn hearth]

She was finally outside. It’d been a week. One horrible week, but she’d forced herself outside. Hades scampered in the morning sunshine, and Pan followed. There was an acoustic in her hand but she wasn’t sure whether she would play. A tune had been forming in her mind all week. Whether she could actually play it or not was a different story. She felt as if her music had died. Sitting down under the shade of a tree, she placed the guitar over her lap, and the words came to her. They came faster than she would ever have been able to write them down. Her fingers strummed at the instrument. Her mouth opened, and the words came out.

“Well, I was only nineteen, you were twenty-nine,
It’s just ten years but it’s such a long time,
In a heartbeat, well, I would do it all again,
Late night sex, smoking cigarettes, I try real hard but I can’t forget,
Now in a heartbeat, well, I would do it all again”

She’d never really written a love song in her life. Not like this. She was always too strong to write a love song. That had changed now. Her fingers kept on strumming the guitar effortlessly. The music had come back to her. That was at least something she was happy about.

“Now I see, that you and me, were never meant, never meant to be now,
Well, now I’m lost somewhere,
Lost between Elvis and suicide, ever since the day we died,
Well, I’ve got nothing left to lose,
After Jesus, and rock ‘n’ roll, couldn’t save my mortal soul well,
I’ve got nothing left, I’ve got nothing left to lose”

Her words spoke so true. They were from the heart; there was no clever meaning like most of hers. You didn’t have to read into the lyrics to find what they meant. They were as they were. Everything she felt, it was being put into this song. Part of her didn’t like playing this outside, but it was outside that she felt almost free. She knew it couldn’t have been written in the stuffiness of her room.

“Calling out sins just to pass the time, my life goes by in a blink of an eye,
I know you want me, I was only looking for a friend,
And everything that I was, and everything that I’ve become,
Just falls into the end, and-”

Every single thought that had always haunted her was being placed into the lyrics. Her eyes didn’t dare look up. They were trained to her guitar. If she looked up, she could see people. And they would be able to hear her. She didn’t want to see their pity. All she ever got was sympathy, from everyone. It was all the same. ‘I’m sorry’. Sorry was never going to bring him back.

“Now I see that you and me, were never meant, were never meant to be now,
Well, now I’m lost somewhere,
Lost between Elvis and suicide, ever since the day we died,
Well, I’ve got nothing left to lose,
After Jesus and rock ‘n’ roll, couldn’t save my mortal soul well,
I’ve got nothing left, I’ve got nothing left to lose”

She hummed softly as she played further before finishing her song. Her fingers were still against the guitar once more. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she leant back against the tree and felt the stinging of tears in her eyes. At least the music had come back to her. She’d thought that she’d lost her ability to write music forever.

Outfit: Clicky!
Tagged: Anyone
Notes: music
Words: 600
Credit: Chloe!

[felix joshua o'callaghan]

Felix loved the Formal Gardens. Even if it was him being biased toward the outdoors, he really did love it. He couldn't help but love it. Even if he'd been human, like he'd thought he was for most of his life, he was pretty sure that he would have still found the Formal Gardens at least slightly pretty. If not, more than that. It really was lovely - the groundskeeper, whoever they were, did an amazing job. Not that Felix would ever tell them that to their face, but he could appreciate it anonymously. Like everyone else did, he was sure.

It was also the fact that the Formal Gardens were so blissfully quiet, a perfect place for the Irishman to read when he should have been in class. No one would find him there; and when he was asked about it, he could say that he got lost. And no one would question him because, well, he was Felix. Although he was clever, he was also forgetful and clumsy. So this arrangement was perfect! This would be even better than going to the library to read! There would be no one there to bother him, no one that would talk or irritate him too much.

Or that was what he thought. He arrived in the gardens, only to find a pretty girl with white blonde hair sat under a tree, an acoustic guitar across her lap. She strummed energetically, sang as if her life depended on it. He ducked quickly out of sight, behind the bushes that edged the garden. He knew that it was probably a private moment, and that he shouldn't be listening, but he couldn't help it. He was genuinely interested. What could have happened that made her feel that way? What could she possibly have been through? ...How could he make her happy? She didn't seem happy. No, not at all. And Felix didn't like that. He leaned a little further forward, in his desire to see what she was feeling.

Unfortunately, he leaned a little too far, and tumbled forward, through the shrubbery, onto the grass. Surely in full view of the girl; just as she'd finished her song, too. Oh, God. Why, Felix, Why. his mind said to him despairingly as he scrambled to his feet, a sheepish smile on his face. What did he say? He was normally okay with things like this! What was wrong with him? He needed to speak. And quickly. Now. "Oh, God. Uh. I'm really, really sorry," he apologized, flipping his auburn fringe out of his eyes. An apology seemed like a good place to start right now. "I'm not... I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"

Outfit: Clicky!
Tagged: Panneh!
Notes: Felix O'Callaghan, everybody.
Lyrics: Bow Ties On Dead Guys by Fearless Vampire Killers

[pandora evelyn hearth]

The song was over and she focused on blinking back the tears. She would not cry. She could not cry. That was when she noticed a small movement in the bushes before a guy fell down in front of her. She was momentarily startled but then a small smile settled on her features. This clumsy lad quite amused her. He reminded her of Natesa. A male Natesa. He definately seemed clumsy enough.

As he apologized she gave a wave of her hand. "No worries, and don't worry. I'd just finished. And I need something else to occupy my time before I write something else that's all depressing" she spoke, a warm smile on her face. It was obvious he hadn't meant to fall and disrupt her. And anyway, the lad seemed nice. She had time to talk to people like him. And she hadn't seen him around before. Maybe he was new? And if he was then he'd need a friend and Pandora could do that. She was feeling so kind recently. One, and maybe the only, advantage to her broken heart.

A chuckle left her lips as Hades, who had been burrowing in the nearby flowerbed (the groundskeeper was going to kill her), noticed the teen on the floor. It was the look on the pup's face. As if to say 'what the hell are you doing down there'. Though, in a second he began to bound toward the guy. Instantly jumping on him, hoping to find a playmate as his mistress had been boring recently and refusing to play. "Oh, God, I'm sorry about him. He's a little devil, lives up to his name really. Hades" she spoke, placing her guitar on the grass and rescuing the lad.

Running over, she dropped to her knees next to him. She gently tugged at Hades' tail which instantly distracted the pup. He turned to attack his mistress instead. With one hand occupying the puppy, she extended the other toward the guy. "Hi, I'm Pandora. Fourth year sorceress, 'cause you're probably going to ask at some point" she spoke. This was good, actually, this guy falling into her life (quite literally) and distracting her.

Outfit: Clicky!
Tagged: Anyone
Notes: I love Hades
Words: 374
Credit: Chloe!

[felix joshua o'callaghan]

Situations like this were what the Irishman strived to avoid more than anything. This wasn't fair; maybe Gaia hated him, whoever she was, for not knowing about being a faerie until he was sent here. He might as well have been human, for all that bitch cared. He knew that he was probably blaspheming or something, but that hardly mattered. He didn't really believe in all this, still. It was all so new to him. The possibility that magic, that supernaturals, that he existed had never crossed his mind before his father had mentioned his mother's faehood. And even then, he still hadn't believed him until he arrived at the school.

The girl had noticed him, and his heart leaped nervously. Oh, god, would she be angry? He'd just interrupted what looked like a very private moment, and for something as stupid as listening to something that wasn't supposed to be public anyway. He felt kind of... embarrassed about that. It'd been really rude of him, actually, to stick around. He shouldn't have stayed. She had every reason to be angry; he would understand. He would leave, if needed.

But, no, it was all okay. She smiled at him warmly, and told him it was fine. Which made him sigh with relief, and smile lazily back at her. "Y'sure?" he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets and tossing his fringe out of his eyes. "I could still clear off, if you like--"

[/color]

Oh. No he couldn't. Because, out of nowhere, there was a dog sat on top of him. A cute dog, though, so any shock that Felix felt immediately dissolved into a mental keysmash as he stared into the little puppy's eyes. It seemed like the adorable little thing only wanted to play. Which was fine by Felix. He petted the dog, laughing softly at him. "Hey there, little guy." he murmured to him.

As the blonde apologized, appearing as his side, he waved his hand dismissively, snickering at the name. "What an appropriate little namesake there." he remarked, as she distracted the dog long enough to get him off of his chest. "Really, it's fine. He's lovely." And he really, really was. Felix was a sucker for a pair of big, cute eyes. He couldn't help it; he was weak. It was literally the worst thing ever, but cold't really be helped.

Pandora. The myth of Pandora and her box sprung to his mind, but he pushed it straight back out again. The witch had probably heard enough of that to last her several lifetimes. And he didn't really want to irk her any more than he was sure he had already. He smiled up at her, offering her his hand to shake. "S' Felix." he introduced himself. "Felix O'Callaghan. Fourth year... Earth fae." Earth fae. It still sounded so foreign to him. So new, so wrong, yet crazily true. He didn't like that feeling at all.[/color][/center][/size][/blockquote][/blockquote]

Outfit: Clicky!
Tagged: Panneh!
Notes: Felix O'Callaghan, everybody.
Lyrics: Bow Ties On Dead Guys by Fearless Vampire Killers

[pandora evelyn hearth]

The guy in front of her seemed really apologetic and, well, that just made Pandora feel absolutely terrible. She'd been the one playing out in the open air. Anyone could have come along and listened in. So, it just happened to be this guy. And this guy's cuteness just multiplied. She shook her head at his words. God no. She couldn't make him clear off. That would just be horrible. And Pandora wasn't a cruel person. "Oh, no, really, it's fine. Stay, please, I could do with the company. Get's pretty lonely on your own" she told him. She hated being on her own. She liked being around people. Especially now. The more that she was around friends, the easier it was just to forget.

And. Well. The guy couldn't leave even if he wanted to. Hades had decided to attack the young man. Pandora had a moment of panic. Not everyone liked dogs. But, she was safe. The man laughed, petting Hades and Pandora let out a sigh of relief. It would have been horrible if the man was scared of dogs. She distracted the pup anyway. Her hand curled up in a fist, she gently batted the dog only to get him return the gesture with his paws. A laugh left her lips as she momentarily picked him up to bury her face in his fur. God, she loved the dog.

Placing Hades back on the floor she laughed again. "It is, isn't it? My little Hell hound. And I know. First time I saw him I just melted. Didn't go to buy a dog, but, how can you not fall in love with those eyes? Especially when they're telling you 'buy me' and you know that you'll always love them..." she paused, realising she was rambling to the man just a little.

That was when the man introduced himself. Felix O'Callaghan? Then it registered in.her mind. The accent. An accent that once made her weak at the knees. The Earth faerie was Irish. She smiled softly. The accent really was lovely. She would definately spend more time around this guy. Just to listen to him speak. "Felix. Lovely name. And by the accent, I'm guessing you're Irish? One of these days I will go over to Ireland. I've always wanted to visit the place" she told him. Ireland. The home to alcohol and good music. Okay. She had to go over to Ireland. Maybe when she graduated.

Outfit: Clicky!
Tagged: Felix
Notes: Palix!
Credit: Chloe!

[felix joshua o'callaghan]

It was times lie these that the fae wanted to believe that Northvale was something that he'd painted in a dream, that it wasn't real, that none of this was really happening to him. It wasn't like he didn't like the place, but he really didn't like what it connoted. Don't get him wrong, the people were nice, and the place was beautiful... but this place was for freaks. Freaks like... like him. It really sucked, being magical, but there really wasn't anything he could do about it. It wasn't as if he could change his genetic structure. And, besides, he wouldn't if he could. This was all he had left of his mum. He wouldn't have thrown away the one reminder, besides photographs and memories that would all too easily fade, that he had left that his mother ever existed.

Even if he was embarrassed, though, the blonde was helping the situation a lot. He wasn't anticipating her kindness - it wasn't as if he really deserved it, either. But she was a lot nicer than he'd first thought her to be, which was a pleasant surprise. "Okay, if you insist." he said breezily, chuckling. It wasn't as if he could go, anyway, because of this dog. However cute the puppy was, Felix did kind of need to move. Strangely enough, his limbs were actually useful to him. Not right now, though, now that he was staying here with the girl.

He smiled at her gratefully when she lifted the canine from on top of him, internally flailing at how cute it was that they were cuddling. Felix had wanted a pet for a while, but had never really had the time or the money for one. Besides, his dad was allergic. So that ruled out the possibility of any pets, which was a shame. But still. The fourth year paid attention to the girl's rambles, laughing a little at her embarrassment when she clocked that she was going on a bit. He could relate to that; he did it more often than he should have, really. "I never really had a pet," he said in reply to her, "so I can't really relate to that. But I kind of know what you mean! I think." Good going, Felix. Really smart response. Hah.

He nodded at Pandora in response to her question, with a light smile. "Yup!" he confirmed, with a flourish. "I come from a little place called Dún Laoghaire. S' a pretty place." He sat up on te grass, and crossed his legs over, like a five year old might do when they were being read a story in class. He forgot, sometimes, that some of the English found Ireland exotic and interesting. It was maybe because he was so used to the Irish views, he just didn't take that much notice anymore. "I'm going back for a few weeks in the holidays. Maybe you should come." He laughed a little then, remembering that he barely knew her. But she'd said she wanted to go! He was being nice! At least he hoped he was.

Outfit: Clicky!
Tagged: Panneh!
Notes: Felix O'Callaghan, everybody.
Lyrics: Bow Ties On Dead Guys by Fearless Vampire Killers

[pandora evelyn hearth]

She couldn't help but feel bad for the guy when she found out that the had never had a pet. That was just.. horrible. Pandora loved animals. She loved both of her pets. Diablo and Hades. Horse and dog. They meant the world to her. Really, they did. And as the guy spoke more she laughed. Well, he was pretty damned adorable wasn't he? Then she noticed his expression. It was like he was actually internally yelling at himself for saying that. Aww. Well, Pan just gave him a grin. Wow. She'd only known the guy for a few minutes and he was already making her smile. Yes. This guy was definitely going to become a friend of hers. Hades seemed to approve. And, well, nothing he could say or do was going to stop it. He would become friends with Pandora Hearth. The craziest witch at Northvale.

And God. He was Irish. Irish. He just had to be her friend. Just so she could listen to that accent. Because it was hot. Yes. She would become friends with a person just to listen to their cool accent. She was lovely like that. And when he said the name of his hometown? Well. She could have died. Could. She still wasn't fully in that place where she could really see other people as attractive but it was certainly quite awesome when he said Irish things in that beautiful accent of his.

Deciding to stop perving on his accent - though it was a challenge - she was going to speak but then he said something that shocked her. Was he inviting her to Ireland? She'd known him all of ten minutes and he was inviting her to go to Ireland with him? Analysing his tone for a second she realised it was just a friendly gesture. Thank God for that. So, she smiled at him. "Ooh, now that sounds pretty amazing. Though, fair warned, I'll get wasted and start following the hottest guy. And then just dying over the accent. Seriously, you're lucky. Irish accent's are just magnets to women" she told the guy.

Okay. She was looking forward to this now. Going over to Ireland in the summer. She'd have to tell her Dad and the crap like that. Convince Ava that she wasn't allowed to go with her to take photos of the scenery. She rolled her eyes a little. God, her Aunt could be irritating. "So, Felix, tell me, how're you finding Northvale? I know the place is.. well.. hectic and drama filled and just.. bleh. But, hey, it's nice really" she asked him. Yup. She was definitely going to become friends with Felic  

Outfit: Clicky!
Tagged: Anyone
Notes: I love Hades
Credit: Chloe!

[felix joshua o'callaghan]

Another thing Felix really, really disliked about himself was that he had the tendency to grow attached to people far too quickly. Come on. Inviting a girl he'd known for not even ten minutes to go to Ireland with him. That was maybe just a little bit creepy. Actually, not even maybe or a bit. It was just plain creepy. Fact. He hadn't meant it that way! Oh, god, why didn't he ever think? It was just ridiculous, was his intelligence to common sense ratio. He was quick minded and shrewd, except when it came to situations where he had to be socially aware, like now. It was just stupid!

However, much to his relief, the witch didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, she seemed rather happy about it, barring her moment of obvious shock. He gave the girl a small, sheepish grin, like was his specialty. He didn't mind about her getting drunk and going after a couple of guys; that was pretty much Irish tradition, after all, no matter how stereotypical that sounded. But the accent part of it? He was so used to it, he didn't pay attention to himself speak. And when other people commented on how "beautiful" and "sexy" the lilt was, he was just so accustomed to hearing it that it came as a sock each time it was said. Not that he didn't like it, of course.

"Ah, I dunno about that, now," he snickered in response, half shy and half flattered, letting his auburn hair fall in front of his eyes. "I'm not... in case y'haven't noticed, I'm not really the type for stuff like that." It was true, he really wasn't. What with his tendency to prefer reading and revision to going out and being social, meeting someone, especially that kind of someone, wasn't really a common occurrence. Oh, well.

He was kind of expecting her next question. He'd been here for only a matter of months. Fresh meat and all that. He might as well have had that tattooed on his forehead. Even though he hadn't meant to think so pessimistically then, somehow, his mind had just completely gone against him. No, he wasn't here to keep Northvale entertained. He was here to learn things, to learn how to control this creepy shit he cold do with plants and soil and minerals and stuff. He was here to just learn, mainly, not to be gossiped about. Besides, Pandora didn't seem like the type of girl that spread gossip and lies for fun. No, she didn't seem like a complete and utter bitch.

"S' okay, I s'pose." he piped, with a shrug. He scratched his wrist, a little awkwardly, whilst trying to summon the right thoughts about the place. He didn't want to risk offending the woman. "It... certainly took some adjusting to, I'll admit that," he commented. "I haven't always known about... y'know, all this." He gestured around him in a wide circle. He hadn't known that he was... special, that he was one of them. Not until his father had told him. The fae knew that it'd disappointed him, which is why he hated this so. But that was irrelevant just now.

Outfit: Clicky!
Tagged: Panneh!
Notes: Felix O'Callaghan, everybody.
Lyrics: Bow Ties On Dead Guys by Fearless Vampire Killers

[pandora evelyn hearth]

Could Felix have been any more adorable? Pandora surely doubted it. He didn't even understand how many girls he could pull with that beautiful accent. Heck. In another world - Pandora herself would be falling for that accent and the guy behind it. A soft smile found a place on her lips. Was she actually thinking how cute this guy was? She tried to shrug it off before she panicked. Or was she more amused? Pandora wasn't exactly sure of any of her emotions nowadays. But. She thought that the particular thought amused her.

Chuckling softly, she brought yourself out of her thoughts. "You aren't? Damn, Fe, but you could be Northvale's new player. Give Ashdown a run for his money" she laughed lightly. As much as she did love Johnny Ashdown, it was a lot more fun to tease him. Even when she wasn't in his presence. But then she realised. Felix was new. He would have no idea who Ashdown was, and he could mistake it to be Jimmy. "Ashdown's a vampire around here, Johnny Ashdown. He has a twin but they're taken. They own a recording studio actually. The twins. If you're into music?" the witch inquired. She hoped he was into music. Then she'd definately make sure he would be her friend.

Upon hearing that he was new to the whole supernatural scene, Pandora found she could empathise. Of course she could. She'd been there herself. Thrown into this strange new world. A world where she had powers. A wand. Magical blood running through her veins. It had been terrifying for the girl. And when she had joined the school at sixteen? The first word that entered her mind was Hogwarts. Of course, she could see now that this academy was nothing like that fictional school but at the time? Yes. She had thought this place was a school for freaks.

Smiling a little at Felix, she spoke "Yeah, it takes a while. And I found out about magic when I was thirteen. When my powers set in. I only came to Northvale last year and that was a shock. Werewolves. Vampires. Faeries. And now Sirens and Borea? I had always thought this all belonged in books. Stories. Fairy-tales. Not real life. Not my life. But.. It's something you learn to accept. I guess. Being a supernatural. Just learn to embrace your powers" she stopped as she realised she was rambling. Giving Felix a small smile she waved her hand a little "Sorry. I can talk a lot.."  

Outfit: Clicky!
Tagged: Felix
Notes: Rambling Panny
Credit: Chloe!

[felix joshua o'callaghan]

The idea. Of Felix. As a player? It made the fae damn near burst out laughing. Because, seriously, as a kid who cared more about getting an A in his History exam than ever finding a nice someone to spend his life with and who read revision guides for fun, he just could not compute that idea. But, instead of bursting into laughter, he covered his mouth, occasionally letting a totally manly giggle fall out of his mouth. Oh, god, he just... he couldn't picture himself like that. Never. Not even if he was blessed with a "beautiful" accent and a "pretty" face. He didn't ever want to get that kind of reputation. No, he liked to think he was a little bit more of a gentleman than fucking some random drunk girl and never looking back.

"Now that," the Irishman laughed, "Is a definite no." He nodded at the comment about the Ashdown twins, still laughing. They had somewhat of a reputation for being players, although he knew one was in a relationship. He'd even passed him a few times in the hallways. He seemed like a fairly nice guy. Or had that been the other one? He wasn't sure; he still couldn't quite distinguish some scents from others. "I mean, I'd like to find someone as much as the next guy, buuut I have a bit too much on my plate right now."

At least, that was what he'd told anyone that asked about it back in Ireland. Too much going on. Busy. Not enough time. When, really, it was a bit of a fear. A fear of rejection, a fear of judgement, a fear of abandonment. He didn't know what the people back home, his friends, his not-so-much-friends would think. And he didn't want to find that out, because for all he knew, there could have been a shit load of prejudice, criticism, ostracism even. So, that was his excuse. Constantly. All the time. It hurt to use, but there wasn't any other choice. That was it. No other things to say, no other things to do.

Too much going on. Busy. Not enough time.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the mention of music. Hah. Did he like music. He played about seven different instruments, for crying out loud, how could he not like music? A wide grin lit up his face as he peered at the witch with excited, caramel eyes. "I love music!" he exclaimed. And that was so true, because music had kind of been his escapism from the stress of studying, the stress of being what he was, the stress of everything. He'd written a few songs before, but nothing worthy of ever being recorded. At least, not to him. His dad had encouraged it, but he wasn't feeling it. It wasn't a lack of faith in it; he was good at music, and he knew it. But it didn't feel right to him. "And so do you, as I heard already. That was amazing, by the way."

He'd found it hard to think of someone else in his position, really. As selfish as that sounded, t really wasn't. It was just weird to think that he wasn't the only one that still felt so confused, so weird, so... so conflicted about all of this. Actually, he didn't know if Pandora still felt that way. So he couldn't assume. But still. Wow. But the age at which her powers had set in actually made his heart pound a little. Thirteen. Would that mean he would be made fun of for discovering his powers only a few months before this? Sure, he'd always had the advantages of faehood, like running just that little bit faster and being just that little bit stronger. But it'd been attributed to natural talent. But the actual manipulation of earth as an element... that had only kicked in a mere matter of months before this.

He smiled softly, warmly at her when she found that she'd been rambling. He dd that all the time, so who was he to judge her? "Don't apologise. It's fine," he said, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. "I... I've only known for about three or four months?" He muttered, his voice timid and small, with just the tiniest hint of fear abut being teased for it. "I dunno. t was just... I didn't realise that I could do stuff like that until stuff happened, and then my dad explained it all. It was - is - so weird." That was possibly the crappiest excuse for his late discovery ever. He gave his companion his little, sheepish grin, before looking at his lap in embarrassment. It was silly really, but still. He couldn't help but worry.

Outfit: Clicky!
Tagged: Panneh!
Notes: Felix O'Callaghan, everybody.
Lyrics: Bow Ties On Dead Guys by Fearless Vampire Killers